THE WIZARD OF NZ

What with the millennium not that far away, I make no apology for mentioning here something which has yet to achieve the status of anything more than a strong rumour. But, if it happens, it will be a definitive bringing together of real-life myth and literary legend on a scale not seen since Elizabeth Taylor wandered onto an Oxford stage in the non-speaking role of Helen of Troy in the production of Dr Faustus, in which then husband Richard Burton played the title role.

I refer, of course, to the possibility of that distinctively voiced wise man of the north Sean Connery playing the distinctively hatted wise man of Middle Earth - Gandalf in Peter Jackson’s $130-million New Line version of Lord of the Rings, which starts shooting in New Zealand in September on schedule for a Christmas 2000 release for Part I, The Fellowship of the Ring.

Gandalf is a full-sized Middle Earther, unlike the other hero of the saga, Bilbo Baggins, who is a vertically challenged person of indeterminate age. Jackson, however, is reported to be casting normal-size actors in all the vaguely humanoid roles, and then planning to adjust their sizes digitally on the finished film. And all by next Christmas.

BRUNO IN LA -LA -LAND

Thought the 1999 Cannes prizes were a little strange? Well, wait until you hear this: the taciturn Bruno Dumont, winner of this year’s Grand Jury Prize with L’humanité - a film which split French and English-language critics to an extent not seen since the heyday of Jerry Lewis - plans to follow his Croisette triumph with an English-language film.

And not just any English-language film, either: a California-set crime thriller called The End, complete with real professional actors (L’humanité and Dumont’s earlier La vie de Jésus used ‘ordinary’ people from northern France). There’s more: according to producer Jean Bréhar - partnered with directors Dumont and Rachid Bouchareb in 3B Productions - The End will be just the beginning: two further US-based movies are also planned. I’ll keep you posted, you may be sure of that.

Less surprising is the news that Pedro Almodóvar - whose All About My Mother (Todo sobre mi madre) was favourite to win the Palme d’or this year - is also planning to make his first US film: an adaptation of Pete Dexter’s The Paperboy, which Jan De Bont will produce some time early next year.

WHAT'S NEW, PUSSYCAT?

There are many adjectives one might think of applying to Richard Gere but “pussy-whipped” is not one of them. Always assuming, that is, that your vocabulary is sufficiently politically incorrect to contain such an adjective in the first place.

Political correctness, however, has never been high on Robert Altman’s agenda, and he had no hesitation, during a telephone conversation earlier this year, about using the phrase to describe the central character in his next film, Dr T and the Women, which is due to start shooting in Texas this autumn.

The character in question is a gynaecologist with relationship problems - the polite word for “pussy-whipped” is “female-dominated” - and the film is based on a screenplay by Anne Rapp, who wrote Altman’s recent return to form, Cookie’s Fortune. Gere has yet to sign on the dotted line for the film. But, if he does so, it will be the first time he and Altman have worked together in a combined nine decades in the business.

The problem, though, will be fitting the Texas stint in with Gere’s other confirmed fall outing: as co-star to Winona Ryder in the romantic comedy Autumn in New York, which will mark the US directorial debut of Hong Kong movie star-turned-helmer Joan Chen. And that, as you can see from the title, is rather time-specific in terms of its shoot. Gere is in more familiar mode in that one: he is a playboy who flits from woman to woman - until he comes across Ryder.